LITTLE THINGS THAT STEAL THE JOY OF LIFE EVERY DAY
Writer and psychologist Sarah Hansen believes that unhappiness has many shades. She personally discovered 50 - these are the factors that always affect us negatively.
Misfortune comes in different shades. Sometimes people just don’t have enough joy. Gloomy state of their own choice? Or is life going beyond what they can control? While depression and other mental disorders have not taken the form of a disease, the consequences cannot be minimized, here you will find factors that make you depressed and that you can still influence. Here are 50 reasons why you may be unhappy and suggestions on how to open the curtains and let the sunshine return to your soul.
1. You worry all the time
Anxiety is like a rocking chair that feverishly moves, but doesn't go anywhere. You are simply not able to control your actions. Relax and concentrate. Calmness will help you make the right decision. In the end, it is very true in the famous song: "Don’t worry, be happy."
2. You want to keep everything under control
Sometimes people think that they jumped straight out of superhero comics. They believe that they are able to control absolutely everything. Any of their plans should be implemented immediately. You know, such a task is unlikely even by Superman. The reality is that we do not have the ability to control anything but ourselves. Accept this, and you can enjoy what is happening without trying to constantly do the impossible.
3. You are offended.
Offended is like drinking poison and waiting for another person to die. You only harm yourself by accumulating negative energy. Let the situation go - it will do you good. Understand that your offender is most likely enjoying life and does not think about you at all, while you spend your precious hours mentally sending death rays to him.
4. You think everyone should play by your rules
News of the day: the world has no idea about your rules. The sooner you realize this, the happier you will be. No other person has received your memorandum on how to live, treat you, do your job and build relationships. People are often angry that someone does not want to live up to their inner ideals. And, of course, solving the overwhelming task of making everyone live their own standards brings a lot of disappointments. Accept people for who they are and appreciate the full range of ideas and points of view.
5. You compare yourself to others
We all play this game - we take some tiny part of another person’s life and compare it with ours. For example, I can compare myself with Plushenko and conclude that I skate very poorly. But who knows, maybe I sing better than him or drive a car? This is why looking at yourself and others under a microscope is a pointless exercise. The whole will always be larger than the part that you are considering, but you will always be dissatisfied, comparing only individual elements. If you can’t refuse the comparison, direct it inward: are you better today than you were yesterday?
6. Do you think that fulfilling a dream will make you happy
One says: “I will be happy when I earn one hundred million dollars,” and the second: “I will be happy when my family gathers for a delicious dinner.” Which one is happier? Of course, having big goals is great. But when you connect your happiness only with future successes - which, incidentally, may not happen, you cannot enjoy the present day. Find what will please you today and let tomorrow surprise you.
7. You are a “glass that is half empty.”
If you are a pessimist, you only notice the bad in your life. Your perception becomes your reality. Try to focus on the best qualities of people and the good that is around. The more sunlight you see, the less shadows you will notice.
8. You are alone
Man is a social being, and there is no getting away from it. If one day on Saturday night you find yourself lonely and depressed, try to change it. How do you usually make friends? Try visiting public places where there are people who share your interests and beliefs. Smile, reach out and be truly interested in the person you are talking to. You will be surprised how great it will help you in building long-term relationships.
9. You attach too much importance to money
Money makes life better and easier, what to hide, but they do not bring happiness. Think, if tomorrow was the last day of your life, would you really spend the remaining time making money? Most likely, you would like to spend these hours with loved ones or doing what you love. Living in accordance with internal goals brings more pleasure than all the money of the world.
10. You do not find time for the right things.
Sometimes we all feel lost. But only the construction of our activities in accordance with internal values makes us happier. There is a simple exercise: make a list of values and put them in order of importance for you. Then compare how much your daily activities match your values. Are there any deviations? What can you do to change this?
11. You are surrounded by unhappy people.
You are the sum of five people with whom you spend the most time. If your friends are a constant source of negativity, then the time has come to look for more positive people.
12. You did not find your destination
Many people have subscribed to the lie that the meaning of their existence is to survive until the weekend. No wonder there are so many unfortunate gamers in the world. Stop existing and start living. Find your destiny and strive for it with all your passion. Sometimes it will be difficult for you, sometimes it is scary, but believe me - it will be the most exciting adventure on your way.
13. You are an actor, not an author.
You do a disservice to the world when you try to be who you really are not. Playing someone else's role, you can never meet your own expectations. Some part of your consciousness will always know that you have suppressed yourself in order to read lines that you did not write and - even worse - that you do not believe in.
14. You are stuck in your past
Many people become products of their past - the sum of regrets, sorrows, and varied "what ifs." Yes, you can learn from the mistakes of the past, but you cannot change or relive it. Live in the present - this is the only way to get to the future.
15. You live with thoughts about the future.
Some people think that happiness is the destination, although in fact only the road to it gives us a feeling of fullness of life. Think of everything as an adventure. If you do not, then you will be unhappy, waiting for your beautiful “tomorrow”. But life is one endless “today”, right?
16. You are unwell
Yes, sports, proper nutrition and healthy sleep directly affect your feeling of happiness. Emotions depend on many physical factors. The connection between mind and body is so strong that sometimes a couple of exercises, a walk in the fresh air and an extra hour of sleep can greatly improve your mood.
17. You are a perfectionist.
There are three types of perfectionism: perfectionism in relation to yourself - when you expect perfection from yourself, social perfectionism - when you think that others expect perfection from you, and perfectionism in relation to others - when you expect perfection from others. All three types make you unhappy. Let's just put up with the fact that perfection is unattainable - and to be honest, it’s also boring - and life will become much easier.
18. Are you afraid of failure
Some people are so afraid of making a mistake that they prefer not to do anything. Imagine you would do this when you were just learning to walk. You would still crawl. Unfortunately, growing up, we sometimes lose courage and are afraid to try something new. If you put up with this way of thinking, your life will never be complete - accordingly, you will not see happiness as your own ears.
19. You cling to the usual.
Growth occurs outside our comfort zone. If you do not decide to go beyond the usual, you will never know the joys of victory over fears and gaining wings. Once a bird has to jump to learn how to fly. You cannot stay in the nest and be happy watching others fly.
20. You owe someone
Debts provoke stress, breakups and financial difficulties. Develop a plan for how you will settle accounts with creditors and you will immediately become much calmer.
21. You crave evaluation
If you expect others to value you, you will always be unhappy. No one but yourself has the right to determine your significance and worth.
22. Do you neglect close relationships
Do you know what people regret on their deathbed? No, it’s not at all that they earned little money and did not spend enough time in the office. Most people recall relationships that have been destroyed in the pursuit of unnecessary things. Do not neglect family and friends. In the end, love is
still the greatest value in the world.
23. You are procrastinating
Procrastination is an endless spiral of frustration. You put things off until later, and the more you do this, the heavier your load. It's like trying to run a marathon and collect stones along the way. In the end, the weight becomes simply unbearable. You must finish what you started and throw away these stones in order to remain easy and ready for maneuver without dragging 20 cases from yesterday into tomorrow.
24. You do not study.
Learning new things brings the joy of discovery. Find yourself a hobby, look for a new interest in life. While studying, you will learn the world anew - which means you remain young, able to be surprised and happy.
25. Do you have unfulfilled dreams
The ghosts of unfulfilled desires can haunt us. Fortunately, we can always breathe life into our attitude if we can find the courage to move for new opportunities.
26. You are bored The
life of many people goes unchanged, and this can lead to boredom. We have the latest achievements of science and technology, the world around is simple and relatively safe, and there is no place for adventure in it. Routine sucks. But there are many ways to bring diversity to life. Set a goal to do what unsettles you and even scares you - believe me, there is a lot of that can wake you up, shake, surprise and charm.
27. You are too busy
You are busy all the time, so you do not have time to feel alive. What kind of happiness can we talk about here? Review your schedule. You will surely find there are many things that take your time, but do not give anything in return.
28. You sleep little
. People suffering from insomnia are 10 times more likely to become depressed than those who sleep well. Get enough sleep - and you will be happy.
29. You do not spend enough time alone.
Sometimes you need to give your ears a break from the noise of life and focus on the internal monologue. Spending time alone with yourself is natural and normal. It doesn’t matter if it is a cup of coffee on a park bench or a week-long trip to the mountains for climbing. Your psyche will be very grateful to you for such moments of solitude.
30. You have no goal A
purposeless life is an endless source of frustration. Instead of just letting things happen to you, create your future by setting goals and achieving them. Seeing that the goal has been successfully achieved is one of the greatest joys in life.
31. You are addicted
It is easier to depend on others, but independence is a feature of an adult. Those who cling to others and do not plan to be free are doomed to struggle with low self-esteem. It is impossible to fly on your own wings if you are weighed down by the need to constantly "drag" someone else with you.
32. You think you did not deserve happiness
Some have misconceptions that they do not deserve happiness. They feel guilty for past actions or they simply think that they are not worthy of such emotion. But happiness is an experience that everyone should experience. Cross out “not” in your “I do not deserve” and see what changes.
33. You are always a little missing
To feel the fullness of life, you always lack something else. And further. And yet this one - a little bit, just a little. If you are constantly on the verge of satisfaction, your chances of happiness are greatly reduced. It will never end, the monster of greed will gnaw at you from the inside. You will lie to yourself all the time that you are about to find the last thing that will make you happy. In fact, this pit has no bottom. Try to feel the joy of every moment, and you will experience an unprecedented rise.
34. You ignore the possibilities
When an opportunity knocks on the door, many of us just make the TV sound louder and sit on the couch more comfortable. Indeed, this opportunity looks like work or pushes you out of your comfort zone, but you don’t need it. It's easier to sit out, right? But if such behavior becomes a habit, one day you will wake up in deep disappointment when you realize that you missed all the chances. It is hard to be happy if you do not let good things happen in your life.
35. You are complacent Complacency
gives the illusion of calm. Everything is going fine, life does not hit you, you are beautiful, like a god - what else is needed? In fact, you just go with the flow, and in one day it can take you to a very unfriendly beach. Fight, overcome yourself, do not allow yourself to become numb in a passive existence.
36. You hate your work
No matter how you say it, you spend most of your life at work. It’s hard to keep a happy smile if you hate this place and the people you meet there every day with all the fibers of your soul. Still, work should bring joy and satisfaction, and not just the ability to pay bills.
37. You chase unnecessary things.
Sometimes we forget what is really important to us. Just think - do you really need this new car if you need to work in three jobs and sacrifice time that you could spend with your family?
38. You do not have a spiritual life
Modern research shows the relationship between spirituality and happiness. This is due to the fact that meditation or prayer, as well as communication with positive-minded like-minded people, soothe, help to relax and tune in to changes for the better.
39. You do not have real friends.
You can be surrounded by hundreds of friends and acquaintances, but if there is not a close friend among them who would be with you even in the most severe storm, then you will be unhappy. Life is a constant interaction with people, and if you are not sure that your connections are strong, perhaps you should look for friends. You will feel more confident knowing that you always have support.
40. Are you afraid of yourself
This is strange, but many are afraid of themselves and do not trust their instincts. But if you don’t even trust yourself, then who can you trust at all? Learn to believe in your decisions and not doubt your own life path. This is what is called "harmony."
41. You are too worried about what others think.
Once you accept the fact that everyone cannot like it, life will immediately sparkle with bright colors. Attempts to please everyone and everyone will one day drive you crazy. It makes no sense to live, constantly trying to adapt to someone.
42. You are not relaxing
Still, life is a game, and we all need a timeout from time to time. If you do not allow yourself to relax, stress and disappointment will accompany you constantly. Learn to relax and recover, and then your mental and physical health will improve markedly.
43. You do not risk.
Many people do not use their life opportunities to the maximum. If you feel that you are capable of more, take a chance, challenge fate. You can feel the delight of the discoverer, while your friends will still be lazily floundering in the swamp of everyday life. Crossing borders makes life much more attractive.
44. You are impatient
Oh, how hard it is to be patient, how hard it is to wait, but sometimes that's all you can do. Sometimes circumstances make us slow down and wait, you just need to put up with it. In the end, you can choose to calm down and not rush into a decision or rush and make people laugh.
45. You do not learn from your mistakes
Stepping on the same rake is a favorite pastime of some people. They always come to equally disastrous results, but continue to operate according to the same scheme of self-destruction. It is much more difficult to notice such a habit in yourself, because blocking bad memories is much more attractive than analyzing them. In fact, mistakes help us achieve any goal - no matter how painful they are, this is our experience, which, as you know, cannot be drunk.
46. You do not have a dog
Or a cat. Or a parrot. Or at least an aquarium with fish. Studies show that communication with pets helps to produce oxytocin, the hormone of well-being in both humans and animals. A dog is your own psychotherapist who can always make your day a little brighter and give you joy.
47. You confuse happiness with comfort
. You can have a warm and cozy apartment, a warm and cozy work, a warm and cozy life, but you still will not be happy. Often, what makes us out of a state of balance and comfort makes us happy. Learn to share these two feelings and prioritize. You may have to sacrifice comfort at some point, but it's worth it.
48. You do not love yourself
An old, hackneyed truth, but it works flawlessly: you will never be happy unless you reconcile yourself and love yourself. It’s the same as constantly dragging someone who is banging your head on you. Stop making a boxing ring out of your life. Love the person who is reflected in the mirror, and it will be much easier for both of you to change for the better.
49. You play the role of a victim.
Circumstances are always stronger. Others always have more power. You are just a cog in a huge colossus that grinds you. Really? Or maybe you need to reconsider your beliefs and just take responsibility for your own actions? Adults do just that. And happy ones too. Do not let anyone take control of yourself.
50. You do not allow yourself to be happy
So why are you holding onto everything that makes you sad? This is a difficult and honest question for yourself. If we admit that happiness is a conscious choice, then, therefore, we will have to bear responsibility for it, as well as for any choice. It’s easier to be unhappy - you can do nothing and spend all the time on self-pity. Happiness involves activity. Whether you want it or not, it's up to you.
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